In winter, roses need to be pruned. It’s a scary thing to do. I feel like I’m killing my rose bushes. They look so sad all cut back: dormant, bleak and nubby. Yet, they are always much healthier and flourishing weeks later than if I had left them alone.

We are in a pruning season now. Having had many so much cut away from us, with more cuts probably coming. Our movements, travel, gatherings, concerts, proms, tournaments, celebrations, money. Many of the things that provide light to our lives—our blooms, are cut.

Allow yourself to grieve these things. We are losing so much and it’s a foreign experience. Let us also honor that we do this in service of our collective greater good. Our love for our neighbor is at the heart of our prunning. We are allowing ourselves to be cut back, and our amazing country/world will come back and flourish.

What can we do while we are being pruned and laying seemingly dormant?

We can nourish our roots. We can nourish our relationships, our faith, our minds and our souls, so that when pruning season is over, we will come back with a renewed sense of self, renewed connections, and renewed view of life.

How do we nourish? It’s definition suggests that we provide what is necessary for growth, health good condition. Here are some simple steps to nourish:

1. Give yourself permission to allow your feelings to come and go. Watch them like you’d watch the tide wash in and out. This pandemic is causing lots of big feelings. And they come and go. They hit hard and then wash out. Just notice it and allow yourself to move with it.

2. Don’t expect too much of yourself or others. We are in a state of collective trauma. This causes trouble focusing, feeling stuck in productivity and giving us a brain fog that wasn’t there before. This is all normal. So if we are upset that we aren’t baking as much bread as the neighbor or finishing the next great American novel, give yourself a break.

3. Take it easy on the alcohol. Quarantine has prompted a huge increase in alcohol sales. Consistently checking out with this pastime will keep us stuck and may result in other problems.

4. Try to keep yourself on a normal sleep schedule and get lots of sunshine.

5. Limit news media to necessary info and cut out the commentary.

I will also be offering some online classes/meetups, blogs, and resources to help provide some nourishment for yourself and your relationships. If you are interested in these resources, please add yourself to my email list here and I’ll notify you when things are ready to go. We can move through this season together, despite our physical separation.

I am also able to provide online counseling for individuals and couples. It is as easy as clicking on a link from an email. It’s secure, HIPAA compliant and an excellent way to keep yourself nourished during this season. Please don’t neglect your self care if you are stuck at home. Please also don’t wait for the ability to come to my office. My ability to see clients at my office may lag behind many other businesses opening because I need to protect your confidentiality (due to contact tracing) and sitting with so many clients for hours at a time in a small space would not be in protection of your health. So I hope to see you online soon!

Dormant roses still need care, water, fertilization. They are still alive and preparing themselves for spring.