Grief in uncertain times
/We have faced more challenges in the last year than any generation in recent memory. We are living through a pandemic, navigating through social and political changes, and facing economic concerns, all while trying to live fulfilling, productive lives. As these challenges continue, grow and change, you may find yourself struggling with sadness, frustration, anxiety, fear, worry, low motivation, and more. We long for normalcy.
How to manage COVID grief
You may be dealing with a loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a job. You might be contemplating canceling a special event that you have prepared and planned for, such as a wedding, graduation, or promotion ceremony. You are not alone; social media feeds are full of sadness, frustration, fear and grief. These feelings are normal responses and are part of the anxiety associated with the fear of the unknown, grieving the loss of the life we have been used to, and navigating unclear territory.
Part of why the world seems scary, frustrating, and sad is that we cannot see what is coming or imagine how things will ever go back to how they used to be. This triggers a sense of loss and anxiety. When our brain senses danger it works to restore a sense of security. As we are unable to return to our previous sense of safety, our nervous system stays locked in the flight-fight-freeze mode. This is a natural response to a traumatic situation, but can result in painful physical symptoms associated with anxiety such as a racing heart, shortness of breath, feeling clammy, trouble sleeping, etc. These physical symptoms may intensify the anxiety we are already feeling and are frightening because it can be hard to tell the difference between a medical emergency and anxiety. Understanding the link between our body and mind is an important step to enhancing our ability to respond to stressors, communicate our feelings with others, and reduce the sense of isolation that often accompanies anxiety or grief.
Here are some tips that can help manage the feelings of anxiety and grief:
Engage in activities you can control (like good hygiene, nutrition and exercise) and release activities that you cannot control (what other people are doing and how they are reacting)
Understand that your loved one’s responses to anxiety and grief may look very different from yours; open up a discussion about these differences and how to best support one another
Use free resources like mediation or fitness apps to manage feelings. Calm and Headspace are great apps and excellent resources
Find ways to ground yourself into the present using mindfulness techniques. For example, take an afternoon break and have an orange. Notice how it smells, how it feels as you peel it, tastes once you eat it. Be present in this moment and behavior.
Name your grief and validate your emotions. When we name emotions and allow our feelings space, we can alleviate some of the pain that often accompanies the feeling. Here is a link to a helpful emotions wheel to identify the variances and complexity of emotion.
Learn something new or engage in a favorite activity; find something you can do alone and also something with a loved one.
Connect with nature and the physical environment, even better: exercise in nature
Reach out to family and friends using technology but limit time spent on social media
Utilize news sources by checking in to just get the latest updates, but not staying connected to it all day
Contact a mental health professional for support. Align Couples Therapy can offer both mental health and relational counseling to address these needs. By processing the feelings that are showing up now, you can help limit the impact our current world has on your future plans and functioning. We would be honored to help! To make an appointment, click here.
