Valentine's Day Conversation Questions
/Gifts are purchased, dinner reservations made, but now….what should we talk about? Need some ideas? We are here to help! But before we get to the conversation, we need to talk about the importance of the date itself and how to be intentional with it’s formation.
Valentine’s day conversation questions for connection
Valentine’s Day is a perfect opportunity to build up that emotional bank account with your partner. If you want conflict, communication or sex to flow more easily and organically, the answer isn’t necessarily rehashing your latest issue. An easier, much more fun way is to strengthen your emotional bank account with one another. This gives you much needed currency, grace and safety netting for when the real world shows up on Feb 15th and you may need to make a withdrawal.
A valentine’s date, or any date for that matter, is a chance to build a new memory. Regular work days, typical weekends don’t help form meaningful memories. Novel experiences, unique conversations that enhance emotion do this well.
Here are some tips for being intentional about your date night:
Leave your issues alone. Agree to table anything problematic that arises for daylight tomorrow, or even better, sitting down with a counselor. No better gift for your Valentine than a commitment to growing your relationship together!
Enjoy the moment and experience, take in the atmosphere, include your partner in this. Put phones on silent, or leave them in the car. Utilize eye contact, facial/emotional responsiveness and physical touch to connect.
Work to impress each other like you were on an initial date. Curiosity, compliments, flirting, touching.
Be careful not to complain about random things, ie: food, service, weather, headaches, politics, etc, and be self aware about how your date is experiencing you and make it enjoyable.
Make a commitment to make dates a new ritual for your monthly routine together. It builds and protects your relationship in a way that even counseling can’t provide. Map them out on a calendar and then take turns planning. This way, each of you gets to enjoy feeling planned for and thought of fondly.
If you don’t have a date planned yet, it’s not too late! Dates are important for married couples for several reasons, as they contribute to the health and longevity of the relationship. Here's why:
Quality Time: Dates provide an opportunity for couples to spend focused and uninterrupted time together. In the midst of busy schedules, work, and other responsibilities, carving out time for each other reinforces the bond between partners and helps maintain emotional intimacy.
Connection and Communication: Going on dates encourages open communication and strengthens the connection between spouses. It allows couples to discuss important matters, share experiences, dreams, and aspirations, and deepen their understanding of each other.
Romance and Intimacy: Dates offer a chance to keep the romance alive in a relationship. Whether it's a candlelit dinner, a weekend getaway, or a simple walk in the park, these experiences help reignite passion and intimacy between partners, fostering a sense of closeness and affection.
Building Fond Memories: Engaging in shared activities and experiences during dates creates lasting memories that couples can cherish. These memories serve as anchors during challenging times and reinforce the sense of companionship and partnership in a marriage or long term relationship.
Stress Relief: Dates provide an opportunity for couples to unwind and de-stress together. Engaging in enjoyable activities or simply being in each other's company can alleviate tension and promote relaxation, leading to a happier and more harmonious relationship.
Prioritizing the Relationship: Setting aside time for dates sends a message to both partners that their relationship is a priority. It demonstrates a commitment to nurturing the relationship and investing in its long-term success, which is crucial for building trust and security within the partnership.
Renewing Commitment: Regularly going on dates reaffirms the commitment that partners have made to each other. It serves as a reminder of the love, respect, and dedication they share, strengthening the marital bond and fortifying the foundation of the relationship.
In essence, dates play a vital role in keeping the spark alive in a relationship, fostering emotional connection, and building a strong and resilient partnership that can weather the ups and downs of life together.
Here are a list of questions that you can save and set aside to experience on your date. Good luck and have fun! Takes turns to give each of you a chance to answer. I would love to know which questions were the most powerful for you, leave your answers in the comments!
Take a moment to close your eyes and think of a moment in our relationship where you felt truly loved by me, how you felt, how much you appreciate it.
What do you value most in our relationship?
What is your favorite sexual memory of us?
When do you feel most cherished by me?
I feel closest to you when....
Share a personal dream that you haven’t told many people about
What are your hopes for us in the next 5 years?
Share a fantasy or desire we haven’t discussed before, but would like to explore?
What are your favorite types of physical touch that I have used, or haven’t but would like me to?
When do you feel most respected by me?
What do you remember from our first kiss or first intimate moment together?
What are the top 3 things you are grateful for about our relationship?
What are your 3 favorite memories of dates/expereinces we’ve had together?
What are you enjoying about our time together tonight?
What do we want our relationship legacy to sound like? If we have kids, how do we want them to describe our relationship to their future partner, grandkids?
